Real life stories 1

Dougie RIP

A bit about yourself. Your history.

Born in Northern Ireland 1972

Went to University in Nottingham in 1990 for 5 years and studied Numerical Mathematics Biology.

After university, he travelled the world. He had always wanted to see the world. His sister worked at an airport so that cut costs for him. He has worked all over the world. He has also worked as a Bingo caller and Arcade engineer. That was something he really enjoyed. He did stand-up on a Thursday night. When he came back to England, he met his wife in Scarborough but she died of Breast Cancer. He started drinking to numb the pain. At that point he lost everything.

What caused you to drink?

Sometimes God deals you a bad hand and he dealt me a bad hand. He took my wife but he took my life at the same time because then I started drinking. I was disturbed. Totally disturbed. I was trying to numb the pain. Trying to knock myself out. That’s the thing about drink, it doesn’t do anything but it makes you fall asleep. My nickname is Dreamcatcher because I drink and then fall asleep. I love to dream. I’m diabetic and I’ve got MS but he took her, I would rather he had taken me.

How did it affect your life?

What challenges did you face?

I’m homeless and I’ve lost everything. I lost my home, my children, my job, my car but most importantly, my children. I’ve lost everything. I drink about 25-30 units a day. A man’s only supposed to drink 21 units a week but I drink between 25 and 30 in a day. If there are about 12 people drinking and they all start with each other, I prefer to go off and sit by myself and fall asleep. I don’t need
it and I don’t want it when they start with each other.

I wake up sometimes at about 4 in the morning. I never go to bed without
a drink. Some of them go to bed and they’ve drunk all their drink and they wake up and don’t have any. Doesn’t happen to me. I make sure I go to bed with a drink. I have to always think about where I am going to stay for the night.

Keeping in contact with my family is a challenge. If they knew the predicament
I am in, it would kill them. I was supposed to go home for their 40th anniversary but I don’t want them to see me like this. I mean, look at my clothes, I don’t want them to see this. Another challenge is staying out of trouble. I’m trained
to be violent but I’m not anymore.

Any other challenges?

Keeping safe.
I want to stop drinking. I need to calm down.

When was the turning point?

I’m fed up of my lifestyle. I’m better than this. I’m a tramp, a total tramp, I don’t want to be here. I’m scared of systematic body failure. That’s when you stop drinking and your body just shuts down. So, I have to slow down and stop drinking gradually. I’ve cut down from about 40 units a day, about 5 big bottles of Cider. I drink Cider. It’s cheap and cheerful.

I don’t claim benefits. I used to work Thursday nights doing stand up. I’m
a comedian at heart. I love it. I laugh at my own jokes…What do you call an Irishman in a University?...a caretaker! I’ve got loads of jokes. I love to laugh.

I’ve knocked my drink down by an awful lot. It’s always at the back of my mind, if I don’t have a drink; I’m going to be sick, I’m going to be poorly. It’s now half past one, inside the next half an hour, I’ll be in the off licence.

About three times a week or when I feel like it, I go to the library to read. I’m studying old texts like Egyptian and Greek. It exercises my brain cells. My mind is still working but my body has given up.

I’ve got two best friends but they’re stupid. I don’t mean to be rude but they are stupid. I ask one of them, what’s 4x3 and he says 7. I wind them up about it.

How did the Crypt help?

The Crypt is very good for me. They keep my insulin in a fridge. I live on the streets and it has to be kept at minus 2 so they do that for me.

It’s 50p for your dinner. What’s 50p? I can make that in a couple of seconds if I take my hat off.

I can come in if I want to shave or have a shower or get a change of clothes.I like to sit down and talk to people. My friends are my friends but they’re nowhere near my intellect. It’s good to come and talk to someone just to get things off my chest.

There’s only one bad thing about the Crypt, every night we’re allowed in here ‘til about 9 o’clock. They put a film on at about half 7 so I never get to see the end of the film. That’s not very good. They put my favourite film on the other night, Total Recall but I didn’t get to see the end of it so I wasn’t very happy.Apart from that, St George’s Crypt is a great place.

How do you see your life developing in the future?

I want to stop drinking. I’ve not claimed benefit for about 2 and a half years.I do want to stop drinking though because I don’t want this anymore. I am
better than this.

When I’ve finished, I’m going back home. I’ve got a rich mum and dad. My dad’s offered me a job on our farm. We’ve got 22 acres and he’s said I can do whatever I want. So when I’ve stopped, I’m going to stop.

I’ve done everything and now it’s time to calm down. I’ve seen it and done it and it’s time to calm down.

I’m just going to see my children first and stop the drink. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll enjoy a pint or two but not what I’m doing now.

Alcohol is the one that gets you. I’ve taken other drugs before but alcohol is the one that gets you.

Never be an alcoholic.